Do You Believe in Angels?
by midorimouse7
Summary: A confined box. A book full of rules. A lace chain. The feeling of adventure never known. The idea of freedom was foreign. And I never thought something so abstract as joy would be the only thing I would yearn for, the one thing I would die for.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: And So It Begins

"Mother I'm fine," I say as I pull my red converse.

"But what if your legs suddenly give out? It is too much of a risk," my mother fretted over me.

"If I only have a short while to live then I really want to live. The neighborhood knows about how fragile I am. If something happens then you'll find out as soon as it does," I said.

"Well alright but only for you," my mom said, "May God protect you in your journey."

After receiving my mother's blessing I walk out the door letting the summer rays warm up my skin. You may think you have over-protective parents but I assure you they can't hold a dime to mine. Maybe it's not that they are over-protective by choice but rather by circumstance. At age nine I was diagnosed with Alexander disease. Unfortunately the disease is fatal but in my opinion I got pretty lucky. The disease usually involves a difficulty in talking and swallowing as well as the loss of intelligence but for me I have no such symptoms. At least this way I appear to be normal.

"Hello Delena. Are you feeling well today?" said our neighbor Vera.

"I'm fine Miss Jinks. Thank you for asking," I said. She gives a nod and returns to her yard work, humming a nice slow tune under her breath.

Neighbors always ask me how I am doing. At first I would get annoyed but now I am so used to it that it is a routine I always go through, well at least during the holidays. See besides having an incurable illness I also happen to be a witch.

It came to my family as a really big shocker. At first I was not going to go, my mother was against it, but after Professor Dumbledore planned my stay at Hogwarts I was finally permitted to go. The staff had to be trained to handle me in case of a seizure and they had to be explained the meaning of my disease but it was worth it. Well at least to me anyways.

There are times when you walk and you can be staring right at the road but still manage to knock into a person. Well it didn't happen to me but it did happen to a boy who was walking in front of me. Only instead of a person it was a lamp post.

I rushed over to the boy as he yelled out in a mixture of shock and pain. His eyes watering he shook his head as he backed away from the lamp post. I reached over and put my hand over his shoulder and tried to pull him out of the street.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

The boy just continued whimpering in pain so he must have not heard me until he finally stopped jumping around and looked up. We both must have had shocked looks in our faces because I couldn't believe who was in front of me.

"Rohese? What are you doing here?"

"Pettigrew…are you from my Herbology class?"

"Yes. You still have not answered my question," said Peter Pettigrew.

"I live around here. What about you? I'm sure I would have known if you were living here," I said.

"I'm supposed to meet James, Sirius, and Remus over at a muggle shop. You don't happen to know where a sweet shop is, do you?"

"A bit hard to get lost in Edentown. It's not like this is Carlisle Central," I teased.

'Well I have never been here. Sirius reckons this place has the best crepes in all of Greater Britain, though," said Pettigrew.

"Mr. Black would have it right if he is talking about N. Routledge & Sons Bakers and Confectioners. But that is in Carlisle, I doubt you can find it if you got lost here," I said.

"What if that is not even the shop? All Sirius said was it had the best bakery in the county of Cumbria," said Pettigrew defensively.

"When would he ever come here?" I asked in surprise.

"He is staying in Lancaster for the summer and he happened to come about the shop. He mentioned Carlisle but I can't remember exactly what part of it. I just happened to land about here," said Pettigrew.

Now I may not know Peter Pettigrew that well except for the occasional classes we have but I am starting to feel sorry for him. The bakery was not that far from where I was planning to go so I guess I could take him to the Central.

"Well Peter Pettigrew I am over to the Central myself so if you want me to tag along," I suggested when his face lit up.

"We could go together! I don't mind and it would be fun," he said.

I smiled at his enthusiasm as I followed him to the cabbie station. Luckily the next ride to the Central was soon so we didn't have to wait a long time. We were inside the bus chatting idling, just trying to pass time and truth be told it was actually fun. I've heard rumors of the Gryffindor boys but Peter Pettigrew is never mentioned, at least not in a romantic sense. Spending time with him I can't see why, he is funny and not as dumb as girls in my dorm mar him out to be. Then again some Ravenclaws can be narrow-minded.

"So what are you going to Carlisle for?" said Peter.

"My grandmother is there and we are planning to go out later this afternoon. I was going to Lanes shopping centre for a bit," I said happily.

"Stop 53," the bus driver called out.

"This is our stop," I informed Peter as I made my way towards the aisle.

"I don't see the shop," said a confused Peter.

"We still have a bit of a walk. Transportation here is different from the Knight Bus," I explained.

The walk was not terribly long but my legs were starting to feel weak. I kept praying that I would not collapse and thankfully I made it to the shop.

"Here it is," I announced proudly, "N. Routledge & Sons Bakers and Confectioners, the best baked goods in all of Britain."

"I'll believe after I try the pastries," joked Peter as he walked inside.

"Denela! How are you?" the shop owner called from the register.

"I'm fine Mr. Krumps, thank you for asking," I said.

"A regular?" Peter said with a raised eye brow.

"Don't judge," I sniffled as I turn my head to the side, "Hey? Are those your friends over there?"

I jerked my head towards a circular table near the corner of the shop. Three teenage boys were sitting together talking about stuff and laughing at unknown jokes.

"Yes, it's them. Thank you for showing me around," Peter said giving me a final wave before he turned to make his way towards his friends.

"A new friend?" asked Mr. Krumps.

"We are from the same school," I explain, "We happened to cross paths as I was on my way over. He was lost and I offered to show him the way."

"You really are a sweet child," Mr. Krumps said fondly, "Here have a pastry puff. It will help you keep your energy."

"Is it really that obvious?" I said.

"That you are about to fall over from exhaustion? No, but I know you very well. Eat, eat! I'll call a cab to come pick you up."

I shook my head as I said, "No, I'm fine, really. My grandmother is not far away and it would just be a waste of money."

"Well at least let me call your grandmother. She can come pick you up while you eat the puffs with a glass of milk. I won't let you leave with an empty stomach."

"You spoil me," I sigh as I take the pastries.

"No it would just be bad for business if someone left hungry," he teased as he made his way to the back phone.

I settled my food at a table near the door taking a small sip from my glass of milk as I watch the cars go by. Sometimes it feels like life is like the passing cars. Some pass by fast and others are slower. Some are old and some are very shiny and brand new. Then there are the cars that are like me. The ones that seem fine but then the brakes won't work when you need them to stop. Or at least something similar like that.

Not that I am pessimistic or anything. Truth be told I gladly await my death because then I can be an angel. It sounds a little silly but when I was a young girl someone told me a story about an angel and ever since then I knew dying would not be so bad. I accept my death even if my mother tries to se desperately to cling onto to life.

The jingles of the door catch my attention and I see my grandmother at the door.

"And then she ran out! Honestly, I can never understand females," said Sirius.

"Hey you guys!" I called over as I pulled open a chair.

"Peter!"

"What took you so long?" demanded Sirius.

"I got a little lost," I admitted as I lowered my eyes in embarrassment.

"I told you Sirius," said Remus, "You need to learn how to give better directions."

"How did you finally find your way?" asked James.

"I met someone from school on my way over. In Edentown, I think," I said.

"Really? Who?" asked Sirius in interest.

"Delena Rohese. She's a Ravenclaw in our year," I explain as I tore off a piece of pastry.

"Delena Rohese?"

"She's in my Herbology class," I elaborate.

"I think I know who you are talking about," Remus says slowly, "I've seen her in the Hospital Wing a few times."

"She's the girl from the Hospital Wing?" said a surprised James as both Remus and I nod in confirmation.

"She is at that table," I said pointing my head towards the door.

"She looks different," commented Sirius.

"She's not in the hospital gowns. And you've only seen her a few time, makes it hard to tell," I said.

We turned our head back to the door when we heard it open and saw an elderly woman walk in. She was about the same height as Delena but that was as far as their similarities went. I thought she was just a strange old woman so I surprised me when Delena stood up to greet the woman.

"Wonder who that is," said James.

"Her grandmother," said Remus.

"How did you work that one out?" I demanded.

"A bit obvious, if you know what I mean. An old woman walks in and gets hugged by a teenager? How thick would you have to be?" said Sirius.

I watched from the corner of my eyes as Delena left the table, following her grandmother outside, wondering if I would get to see her again. Remus smiled at me as he caught me looking outside.

"Don't worry. I'm sure we can go to Edentown later in the summer," he promised.

"I hope so," I whisper. After all I just made a new friend.

"Honestly Nana it's no big deal," I said.

"No big deal? Lena, those herbs are more than just weeds," said my outraged grandmother.

"They were city folk, what did you expect?" I said.

"No appreciation," my grandmother continued to mutter as we made our way through the outdoor market.

The outdoor market is really something I look forward to in the muggle world. All the different goods and produced found here are something akin to the magic of Hogwarts.

"Now Lena no stalling. I know you love to spend time at the stalls but we really do need to go back home quickly. Your mother will want to pick you up early," said my grandmother.

"Yes Nana," I replied dutifully. Honestly! You feel a little faint and suddenly you are deemed too delicate for yard work. But it is summer and I spend most of my year at Hogwarts, I should indulge my mother for at least a bit.

We were here to pick up some Milfoil for our neighbor. Apparently talking about your digestive problems seems to be a common occurrence in my grandmother's neighborhood. Not that I don't mind since that means I come to the market at a regular basis.

"Good morning girls," the stall keeper called out.

"Good morning Vera," I said as I picked through some herbs.

"What can I get for you today?" inquired Vera.

"Just some Milfoil," said my grandmother.

"And some marigolds," I added hopefully.

"You're cooking," my grandmother said with a knowing look as I nodded.

"Ah yes, the tangy flavor of marigolds! Delena you would make an excellent local chef. The dishes you can make with herbs are wonderful," praised Vera.

I blushed as I laughed at her, "I'm an average cook! I doubt I could ever cook professionally."

"You'd be surprised. Some of the people they hire at restaurants are terrible," my grandmother joked.

We took our herbs from Vera and walked around stalls trying to find a way towards the streets. The amount of people at the market during the summer is unbelievable but expected as tourists sometimes come.

"Lena? Are those the shoes you bought during the summer?" my grandmother said in surprise.

"Yes…I've only worn them in school," I somewhat explained.

"No, no. I am not scolding you, but it does come as a surprise. I never thought you would like them this much," confessed my grandmother.

"I really do love them. They remind me of the movie we saw. The one with the straw man? I really enjoyed the story which makes me love the shoes even more."

She sighed at my explanation as she hailed down a cab for us. The shoes my grandmother pointed out are actually a gift from her that I received last summer. We had gone to some mountains in Ireland and we happened to buy a film about a supposed wizard and a little girl with ruby slippers. While I really love the movie the thing I remember most is the freedom I experienced in the week in Ireland.

It was relaxing to not have to be checked on every five minutes. I hiked (with great difficulty) and shopped and did so many things I could never even dream of doing with my mother. At the end of the trip my grandmother bought me some red converse since I enjoyed The Wizard of Oz so much.

"Come Lena, the cab is waiting," said my grandmother.

"I'm coming," I said as I shooed away my thoughts.

'If only I could have a summer as thrilling as the last,' I wished thoughtfully.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**AN: Thank you for reading my story. All recognizable characters are, unfortunately not mine. **

"Are you sure you will be okay," my mother fretted as she watched me fold my shirts.

"The staff is prepared to take care of me. If anything is to happen I'm sure I'll be taken care of," I said.

"What if something happens on the train?" My mother continued.

"Then my friends will get the conductor or any adult that is present. Or nothing will happen and I'll owl you as soon as I get to the dorms," I said as I placed the last shirt in the suitcase.

"I can't help it! A mother will always worry about their children," my mother said.

"I know," I said as I smiled at her, "A mother also will help her daughter carry down a very heavy suitcase."

"Of course," my mother said.

We were already out of my room when my father came out of the street. He had gone to a business trip for most of the summer so I had not really seen much of him. He always spends as much time as possible with me but this year he had to go because all the other qualified people were somewhere else.

"How's my angel," my father said, taking the suitcase from my mother.

"Happily awaiting her winged-chariot," I said.

"A wing-chariot? What about an earthly car?"

"Well I suppose that will do," I said as I made my way to the door.

I took a few steps outside as I stood there waiting for my parents. The September air slapped my face as I rocked my heels back and forth. I like to keep my legs moving otherwise they start to cramp but the cold air had made my illness worse today. Usually the summer air is warm but this year the weather was colder than usual. Which is fine at Hogwarts but at home it makes my legs stiff and my mother worry.

"Dad! I think the car is rotting!"

My parents came out looking confused as they looked for signs of trouble on the car.

"I meant you are taking so long that the car is so old that it is decomposing," I tried to clarify.

A look of understanding dawned my father' face but my mother continued to look at the car. My father took his arm and rested his hand on her shoulder. That seemed to get her attention as she looked away from the car and went back inside.

"Where is she going?" I asked.

"Don't worry. She'll be back in a bit."

With that my father took my suitcase and packed it inside the trunk. Thankfully my trunk had wheels so the effort was not too straining but it was nice to see someone struggle with a task my peers seemed to do with ease.

I was just about to go look for her when my mother rushed back outside. Only this time she had a package with her. It was a box wrapped in a pale green paper. A highly decorative bow adored the package and I looked on curiously.

"What's with the present?" I said.

My mother nodded. Arms stretched she handed me the package. I stared at it, unsure as to the reason I was being presented with such a magnificent gift.

"It's the last year of Hogwarts," my father elaborated, " We wanted to give you a gift that would make your final year memorable."

"Open it," my mother encouraged, "It will make more sense once you see what is inside."

I nodded and took the present from her hands. The wrapping was beautiful and I didn't want to ruin it. I reached for the ribbon and carefully slid it off. The wrapping, to my surprise, was actually a decorative box and not paper.

"It's gorgeous!" I exclaimed as I slid the lid off the top. A thin gold locket was displayed in a box glistened as the sun reflected on the surface.

"Can you put the clasp on?" I asked my father as I handed the box to him. His cool hands touched the nape of my neck, making me shiver from both the cold and anticipation.

"You look so grown up," my mother noted as she looked at me with adoring eyes.

"Thank you," I said. I couldn't really find the words to describe my feelings.

"There is more," my father added, handing back the box.

"More?"

"Yes. But you can open the rest later. We just wanted you to see the locket first," said my mother. I hugged her and kissed her cheek trying to desperately let her know that I loved her.

"Thank you," I whispered. I turned and hugged my father, giving him an extra kiss, trying to show him that I did not resent his absence during the summer.

"We should go," my father said after I kissed him one final time.

"You wouldn't want to be late," my mother added as she ushered me into the car.

"No we can' have that," I said with a soft smile, "Otherwise what kind of angel would I be?"

Peter's POV:

"James!"

"Sorry. I never had to do so many things before," he explained as Lily glared at him.

"Just because we tolerate each other doesn't mean I won't hesitate to scold you. You need to pay attention to the Prefect meetings. If I end up doing all the Head Girl and Boy duties I'm going report you," she said.

"It was a onetime thing. I promise," said James as he held out his hands in defense.

"Don't worry Lily. James knows that as Head Boy he will have his share of responsibilities," said Remus.

"Well I'm counting on you to keep him in check. Now if you excuse me I have rounds to finish," she said as she huffed out of the compartment.

Sirius stared after her as he said, "Honestly I can't wait for her to realize that she was suppose to take you with her."

James looked stricken at the very thought of another Lily lecture. "I better go after her. Don't want to shirk from my duties so early in the year."

"She has him handcuffed already," I said.

"You got that right Peter," said Sirius as he bellowed out a laugh.

"We should go find a compartment," said Remus as he headed t the corridor, "Unless you want to share one with the First years?"

Both Sirius and I shook our heads and followed Remus out the door. We were talking about the summer when Remus called out.

"Hey this compartment is not full. We could sit here."

He opened the door and I peeked in the room. There were a few Ravenclaws and I pushed my head forward to find that Delena was sitting in the compartment as well.

"Hello," said Remus, "Do you mind if we sit with you? The other compartments are a bit full."

A girl with bangs was the closest to the door and answered, "Sure. Take a seat. You're 7th years, right?"

Remus nodded and Sirius looked around for an empty seat. I made my way to where Remus was wondering if I would be able to talk to Delena.

"Are you all 7th years also?" asked Sirius.

"Newly appointed," the bang-girl said smugly.

"What House are you in?" said Remus.

"All four, save Diane, are Ravenclaws," she said.

"And you four? Gryffindors?" guessed the girl.

"That's right," Sirius said proudly.

"What are your names," Remus said politely.

"Well I'm Catherine Anderson," the girl with bangs offered, " That girl in the corner is Delena Rohese, the girl next to her is Giselle Hastings, and that girl is Diane Temple. What about you lot?"

"Sirius Black and these are my friends Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew," said Sirius.

The girls nodded as they sat quietly. Neither seemed to know what to do and Sirius sat there trying to think of a way to make the situation less awkward. After what seemed like a painful eternity the short girl, Giselle Hastings, turned to Delena.

"I saw your parents at the platform. You're mother looks really young. I liked the hat she was wearing."

"It's her favorite," Delena explained, "She thinks one must always wear a hat when one goes out in the sun."

"Those were your parents?" said a surprised Catherine.

The girls slowly made conversation revolving around muggle clothing and I looked back at Remus and Sirius. They shrugged and turned to me and began the usual bombard of questioning.

"I guess this means you didn't see Delena again during the summer," said Remus.

"I was busy the whole time with you guys. Besides we will be in Herbology together so I can talk to her then," I said.

"True," said Sirius as he looked around the room.

After a few minutes we got caught up in a conversation about motorcycles-_No Sirius, you can't bring one to Hogwarts!_-when someone across the room stood up.

"Sorry. I have to go to the restroom," Delena said as she side-stepped her friend.

"Don't take long," Catherine called after her.

Delena simply waved at her and closed the compartment door after her. I looked at both Remus and he nodded as we stood up and made our way out.

"Are you going out?" asked Diane.

"We are going to look for our other friend, James, to tell him where we are," said Remus.

"Back in a bit," said Sirius.

"Bye," I said, closing the door behind me.

We turned to the right, towards the bathroom, and headed out. We had almost reached the restrooms when someone collided with Remus and cause Sirius to fall and me to tumble after him.

"Sorry," I heard Remus say.

"I'm fine," a voice replied.

"Delena?" said a shocked Sirius.

My eyes snapped open and I saw Delena sitting on the floor. Her legs were to her side and she looked a bit surprised. Remus offered her his hand and she clasped it, slowly bringing herself erect.

"Sorry about that. I must have not been paying too much attention. Are you looking for someone?" she said.

"Ah, we were looking for James Potter. Have you seen him?" said Remus.

"I saw him go into a compartment with Lily Evans. I think it was the Prefect compartment but I'm not sure," she trailed off.

"Okay. Thanks and sorry about the fall," said Sirius as he pushed Remus by the shoulder.

"Bye," waved Delena, "See you in Herbology Peter."

Remus and Sirius smirked at me, watching a blush creep into my face.

"It's no big deal," I said as I made my way to the Prefects compartment.

"Sure," they said in unison.

Delena's POV:

The stumble with the Gryffindor startled me and left my legs trembling for a bit. But the trembles were small and the boys were distracted so nobody noticed anything. Luckily the spasm did not last more than a minute and I made my way back to the compartment. I took a deep breath and slid the door open, preparing for the conversation inside.

"Delena, you're back! The boys just left so we can talk comfortably," said Diane.

"You look a bit pale. Did something happen?" noted Giselle.

"I just feel a bit under the weather. No big deal. I'll just go to the Hospital Wing later if I feel any worse," I said.

"You always look a bit sick at the start of the term," Catherine said suddenly.

I shrugged and said, "I guess I get homesick."

"Well your mother looks so young. I bet you do loads of things with her," said Diane.

"I would miss home if I did things with my mother," agreed Giselle.

I smiled a bit as the conversation turned to parents, glad that my secret was not discovered. I never knew the girls could be so observant. I don't really know them that well so I never thought they would notice something like my illness.

The compartment door slid open as Peter, Remus, and Sirius joined the group once again. The girls stopped their conversation and looked at them curiously.

"Did you find Potter?" said Diane.

"Yes. Do you mind if he joins us a little later," said Remus.

"It's fine. There is still some room," said Giselle.

The boys went back to their conversation and the girls rejoined the previous topic they were discussing. Taking advantage of my silence I took out the final present my parents left for me. It was a plain brown package sitting inside the nice box. It was rectangular and a bit thick and a bit heavy. I slowly untapped the back and slid the paper off. A fairy tale book!

I felt a smile creep out as I ran my finger along the spine of the book. I simply adore fairy tales. Most people grow up on well know stories by Anderson and Grimm but I grew up in a collection of fairy tales that mostly lay forgotten. Some are from those authors but they are stories that are not as popular.

This particular edition was one that has been in my family for generations. Along my family tree someone was an artist with some degree of skill and an apparent love for stories. They took some stories and made their own fairy tale book that has now been passed along the family. Mother told me my father had taken the book this summer. I assumed to show it to a friend in the business but I never imagined that he would take it to a book binder.

The new binding was nice and the book had been restored to what must have once been its former glory. The pages were still original so the book still had the old and dusty smell I loved. Only the cover was new, a nice dark purple. I flipped through the pages and quickly found the entry that intrigued me the most. The story of an angel.

_There were once a brother and a sister who lived in a small village with their parents, and were all offspring of the same tribe. Each family had a history and each took pride in their name. But there was one family in particular that had something special, something extraordinarily different. This girl was a Death dancer, hand chosen by the village elders to dance in deaths' name. _

_Each decade the Death dancer was sacrificed in the name of the tribe. She was to bring fortune and luck to all those whom bear the tribes' name. The girl was a Death dancer and she was the pride of the family. The greatest honor that can be bestowed. Her brother was a sickly creature, a shame to the honorably warriors his forefathers claimed to be. _

_The boy was ignored by his family and shunned by the tribe. Only his sister, the Death dancer, stood by his side. As Death dancer the girl was treated as royalty for she was to be the salvation of all. But the girl wanted nothing of this for herself and would gift her brother in secret all the wonderful goods she received. _

_One day a harsh winter came and it proved too much for the brother. The Death dancer wept as she held her brother in her arms. She wept for the cruelty he had suffered through silence, she wept for strength he had owned, and she wept for the knowledge of solitude she knew was to come. _

_As she wept Death came to the door. Ready to collect the soul of the young boy. But he saw the tears of his maiden, soaking the earth with sorrow. Such pain was not for one of his beloved daughters. And Death took pity on the young girl. Instead of allowing her to be condemned to the vast isolation he allowed her to sprout wings to fly. She was an __angel__, sworn to guard all those that came under her wing. He would give up his daughter and grant her happiness. _

_So the Death dancer became an angel and she found happiness once more. For she was no longer a lone blade in a sea of sand. She was now a guardian. She now had the strength to do what she wanted all along; protect those that came under her wing. _

I smiled as I reached the end, my finger trailing along the picture of a feather. A purpose. Finding strength. Things I've always wanted but could never achieve. Until death. Becoming an angel is my dream and also my salvation.


End file.
